Can I go on
by writer3098
Summary: What does he have that I don't? Simon realizes the full extent of his feelings for Clary after meeting Jace and everyone knows what went through his mind couldn't have been simple...


Can I go on?

_**Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns everything from the Mortal Instruments and sadly I own nothing unless Cassie wants to be nice and give me Jace ;)**_

**A/N: This is my first Mortal Instruments fic so let me know what you all thing!**

I flopped onto my bed, that I could barely see between all the shirts that were littered around. I just wanted to scream. I couldn't believe I had lost her, lost her to him. "That conceited blonde," I growled to myself.

"Simon are you okay?" my mother's concerned voice floated up the stairs.

"Yeah," I lied back to her, grateful that my voice didn't crack and give away how close I was to tears.

"Okay, dinner will be ready in half an hour!"

"Okay,"

I sighed and leaned back onto the headboard, I let out a sigh and pulled out my cell phone. I flipped it open and scrolled through the contacts until I came to her name, I took a deep breath and hit call. I put the phone up to my ear and listened as it rang, I counted the times aloud. "One, two, three, four, five," then I sighed as I got her voice mail. "Hey it's me, call me,"

I hung up and then thought up a better plan, I opened the phone again and scrolled through again. Coming to the name I wanted I hit call once again and held it up to my ear, it rang only three times before going to his voice mail box, I sighed and left a message asking if he knew where she was, he should I mean he was practically her step-father. I hung up again and felt stupid as I flipped it open once again, and scrolled though looking for her mom's number, my last resort. I sighed as I waited for the phone call to go through, but the strange think was a machine came on and told me that the number I had dialed was out of service. I just talked to her this morning on that home phone. I though bitterly to myself as I hung up and frustrated I threw the phone to the ground, causing the back to come off and the battery to come off.

"If she wants him, I'll be him," I mumbled to myself as I stood up and covered the small amount of hardwood floor that covered the air between the closet and his bed. I ripped open the door and pulled out hanger after hanger of shirts from my closet, throwing them down on my already messy floor if they weren't close to plain black. "How do I not have a single plain black shirt and a pair of black jeans," I growled to myself getting more frustrated as the seconds ticked by.

"Simon dinner!"

"I thought you said half an hour!"

"I did, and it's past, now come down before I have to come up there!"

"I'm on my way!" I yelled back as I stomped to my door and down the steps like a little kid.

"Stop acting like a three year old," she scolded me as I landed on the floor in front of the last step.

"I'm not, I'm just in a bad mood," I complained as I pulled out a chair and plopped into it, bending my head down, I thanked God for the meal and everything, before picking up the slim metal fork and poking it into the mashed potatoes that sat in front of me. I let out a sigh and lifted it to my mouth, using my teeth and lips to scrape the fork clean, I swallowed it despite my lack of hunger. I forced down a few more bites and then just started to play with my food.

"Simon, eat," mom coaxed me.

"I'm not hungry," I said as I stood up and pushed the chair back, letting it fall back and hit the floor. "I'm going upstairs,"

"Take your dinner,"

"Fine,"

"Thank you," I glared at her before reaching and grabbing my plate, fork and napkin and turned to go back up the steps but I was stopped by my mother's next instructions. She cleared her throat and said, "Chair,"

"Fine," I said bending down and picking it up and setting it upright and pushing it back in. I grabbed my dinner plate, gave her one more look and headed back up the stairs to continue to scrounge my closet for a plain black shirt and a pair of black jeans, maybe even a black jacket if I was lucky.

Once I had pulled every shirt I owned from my closet and failed at finding one, I just gave up, I would just have to be Simon, the best friend until her love for conceited, arrogant, cocky blondes died away and she realized that her knight in shining armor was with her the whole time. That he was the one that she needed. The dorky one in the tee-shirts and jeans. The one she grew up with. The one who took her to clubs, and followed her around in the night. I grabbed my phone off the floor and slid the battery back in and left the back laying on the floor and dialed her number. A new fire I his heart, the fire that burned for him to protect and shield his best friend until one day they became more than that.

"One, two, three, four, five, hey it's me call me bye," once I hung up I whispered to the phone or to myself, "I love you,"

_**A/N: For those of you who have read my other work, I know it's not the best but I switched fandoms so yeah... leave me a review press that button right under this and tell me what you think.**_


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